Recording In Process
The reality of this situation is harsh. This darkness, this poisonous, persistent behavior, follows me like a serpent determined to drag me down. It does not want me to succeed, enjoy my work, build a relationship, make friends, or even feel safe going outside. This is what real malice looks like: “I have money, you don’t. I have a job, you don’t. I have a life, you don’t.” It is an energy that tries to suffocate anything good before it has the chance to grow.
One thing has become very clear to me: people today often lack empathy and basic respect for those around them. It is sickening when it happens. The emptiness in my stomach when I am walked to the school office to discuss something that never should have happened in class. The sting of being made fun of at work for the way I dress while my boss looks the other way. The moments when I am on the receiving end of hate and trying to stay calm, or worse, facing sexual harassment while simply trying to do my job and being accused of being dramatic. When it happens too often or when someone completely misunderstands you, it makes you wonder what you are supposed to do.
Common phrases such as “please calm down,” “we don’t need to do this,” or “can we figure this out?” often go right over people’s heads. In both school and the workplace, communication fails so often that situations explode for no real reason. You cannot change people’s minds, especially when you live the way I do—always trying to better myself, help others, stay present, and do what needs to be done. Yet some people cannot stand seeing someone happy or thriving. It triggers an almost malicious jealousy, like your peace is somehow a threat to them. Maybe it is the way I look or the way I speak. I try to articulate myself clearly, yet they still refuse to listen.
It goes further. A coworker shifts blame for their own mistakes onto me, even while I am trying to work through the issue with them. The intention is clear: to threaten my job, to paint me as a poor team member, to suggest I am unworthy of a supervisory role. I know my position is seasonal, and I am working hard in hopes of securing something permanent. Is it wrong to want to do my job well?
The situation escalates to being yelled at; a phone pulled out to record me, and cameras demanded to be reviewed. Think about how quickly it shifts: from “let’s be friends,” “please tattoo me,” “wow, nice hair,” “you’re so cool,” to “I’m going to try to get you riled up and fired.” It is instant, and the intent is cruel. Sitting there in tears, terrified of losing my job, while someone who does not even fulfill their own responsibilities tries to get me fired, is devastating. That smile, the little burst of happiness they get when they think they have “won,” says everything. But the truth is, they have won nothing. It is embarrassing, honestly. Act your age.
This happens far too often, and it is terrifying. I am dealing with my own problems, just like everyone else, but that does not make it acceptable to simply be doing my job and suddenly be accused of not being a good coworker or supervisor. I step away for a moment to breathe and come back only to be met with, “YOU GOOD?”—not out of concern, but as an invitation for conflict, a way to provoke and let hostility in. While trying to mitigate the conflict, I see how many people just want to be right and never own up to themselves. And then a phone is pulled out again, even at head office, to record a conversation with a manager. It is ridiculous, unprofessional, and completely unnecessary. And the excuse given is, “It’s to protect all of us.” Please. Give me a break. I am the one making sense. I am the one trying to work through the issue and understand how to communicate with people who show no respect for another woman or for the challenges that come with simply trying to stay employed. If I were a man, can you imagine? Would this situation look completely different?
At the end of the day, I am not asking for perfection—just basic respect, fair treatment, and the ability to do my job without being targeted. I am learning, growing, and doing everything I can to communicate clearly, even when others refuse to meet me halfway. What I have experienced is not normal, and it is not something anyone should have to endure. All I want is a workplace where empathy is not optional and where people are held accountable for how they treat others. Until then, all I can do is keep standing up for myself, even when it feels like no one else will.